At least take the time to discuss your fetish with your partner before you decide for him, that he will hate you for it. The worst thing you can do is search outside of your relationship for ways to satisfy your fetish. This will eventually create problems in your relationship. Also, by not sharing something as personal as your sexual fetishes with your man, you are creating a barrier that he will notice. They may be correct, but many times this is fear talking and not reality.
There are lots of gay guys that like particular fetishes but are afraid that their current or future partners will not approve. Instead, focus on what a fetish is good for – amazing sex and steamy fantasies! Don’t think about what’s wrong with a fetish. This repeated cycle can turn what was once more casual arousal at the sight of an object into a legitimate fetish, so you cut yourself some slack too. He’s likely been feeling guilty and wants to be honest with you.įor some people, the fact that they have a sexual association with an object leads to guilt as well as arousal. If you’re here because your partner has revealed his fetish to you, cut him some slack. Several types of therapy have proven effective at treating fetishism when it becomes a disorder, and medication can help, too.įor 99% of people who display some sort of fetishistic tendencies, their best bet is to find a partner who is willing to experiment with them! Because talking about your fetishes can be difficult, we recommend you read this post about sexual communication. If your fetish has become problematic, you may want to seek psychiatric help with a qualified doctor. However, this is the case for less than 1% of the population. What is a fetish that’s a bad thing? The DSM categorizes a fetish as a disorder only when it becomes the primary source of sexual satisfaction, disrupts regular sexual intercourse and causes distress. Just think of how many people are aroused by a pair of sneakers or a dirty jockstrap. When does a fetish become a problem?įor the most part, you can engage in fetishistic behavior without negative effects. Are Fetishes OK?Ī sexual fetish is not a disorder by definition, but it can reach that level if it causes intense, lasting distress.
Don’t stress out trying to figure out why you love the smell of dirty jockstraps, just enjoy the funk and have fun. The fact is, this is the way we are wired, and it is perfectly fine. Where they arise in our personal history or brain chemistry does not matter. The big take-away is that fetishes are not only “normal”, they are very common. He’s a psychiatry professor at Weill Cornell Medical College. Read more about the fetish for feet here.Ī fetish can also come from seeing inappropriate sexual behavior during childhood or from sexual abuse, says Kenneth Rosenberg, MD. Some researchers believe that the reason why the foot fetish is so common is because of the areas in the brain that coincide with the genitals and feet are adjacent, and the wires get crossed. The cause of some fetishes may be brain chemistry, which is invisible to the human eye and even difficult for scientists and doctors to understand. This is closely related to displacement in psychology. Some people can trace their attraction back to early childhood, before they were aware of their sexuality.Īnother theory revolves around children who transfer feelings of unrequited love from their parents onto an object, resulting in a fetish. Sexual behavior experts don’t agree on the causes.
Being sex positive, means having a healthy relationship with your intimate desires and respecting those of others. Gay men have been known to embrace fetishes at a high rate and even have created communities around them, such as the Leather and Rubber scenes. There is nothing bad, dirty or wrong about having a fetish or exploring your sexual side. Or they might ask their partner to wear it or use it during sex. Many people with fetishes must have the object of their attraction at hand or be fantasizing about it, alone or with a partner, in order to become sexually aroused, get an erection, and have an orgasm.Ī person with a fetish might masturbate while they hold, smell, rub, or taste the object. Fetish DefinedĪ fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that’s not typically sexual, such as shoes or feet.